Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
