im drinking this country out of the recession.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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