I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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