in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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