I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
