Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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