I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I touched a dick in church today
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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