No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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