it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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