the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
