Its about making memories worth repressing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
