Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
