We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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