If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
