Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
