I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
