I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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