Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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