stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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