member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
