If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
