I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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