U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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