haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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