end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
