Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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