HIV tests are more positive than that guy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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