i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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