as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
40s are totally the cure
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
