yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
