i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
