Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
