I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
