I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
