No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
