I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
