I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
