Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
