i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He better not be in your backpack
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
