I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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