I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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