I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
