she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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