you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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