he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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