Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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