there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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