also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
