dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
