i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
