He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
