thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
